Cold Crimson Cake Carnage

The Tallinn venue is, as the name suggests, first and foremost an ice hall used for all sorts of ice sports like hockey. However, the arena is also commonly used to host other events like concerts, where it can accommodate around 7 700 people upon covering the indeed very icy floor with mats for the general admission audience to stand on. After a successful entry at around 18:30, we found ourselves in front row. However next to the excitement, there was also the knowledge that this privilege would come with the highest risk of receiving a cake to the face as compared to every other spot in the audience. But nonetheless, the mood inside the slightly chilly arena was great and anticipation for some live music to begin was high.

After a very agreeable waiting time of around 1,5 hours, Phantom Vision took center stage and started their set with German (or rather Portuguese?) punctuality at 20:00 sharp. As someone seeing and hearing Phantom Vision for the first time in their life, the band did a great job as the first opening act – one can only imagine that it must be a hard job to be the first one of the evening to try and get people moving and warmed up, especially in the winter! Singer Pedro Morcego Santos‘s and synth player Tiago Barbosa‘s stage antics are an entertainment program all for themselves already. While Pedro is zooming around on stage, not able to decide whether to simply swallow his microphone whole or shake it like a maraca in front of his face, Tiago seems to have incorporated his daily workout regime into his stage performance by doing lunges and limbo-worthy back-bends. Well, it works! The crowd was sent on their way to a very enjoyable evening, eagerly awaiting the next opening act.

Aesthetic Perfection entered the stage at 20:35, to loud cheers from the crowd. Being an avid listener of Aesthetic Perfection and having experienced them on a solo live tour already, it was really amazing to have the band on board as an opener for Till Lindemann. Many of the concertgoers probably didn’t know who that sometimes singing, sometimes growling guy with the fisher hat on stage was and why he was so entertaining to watch. Despite that, you could immediately feel that Aesthetic Perfection were able to strike a chord with the audience.

Following a very strong opening song, another new song further proved that this new music really works in a live setting. Schweiss was equally powerful as it was humorous to see Till posing proudly with one foot and one arm up after telling the crowd about his multitude of sweat problems. With Fat, fans knew what to expect. The song was a staple on the setlist already in 2020, and guitarists Emily Ruvidich and Jes Paige really hammered those riffs home. During the song, there was also an unexpected moment of Till suddenly pointing at blog crew member KidArctica, which she certainly (hopefully) didn’t consider a personal attack or something.

Altes Fleisch was another absolute hit. Must. Headbang. Despite. Stiffening. Neck. This song has quickly become a favourite due to its incredible energy. After Altes Fleisch came Allesfresser. Oh, Allesfresser. Now, this song enjoys some particular infamy and it certainly lives up to it. As mentioned in the beginning of this report, being in front row elevates the risk of being thoroughly caked by… a lot. And what does one not do when cakes covered in red strawberry sauce are being thrown at the audience? That’s right, wear a white top. So naturally, I wore a white long-sleeve top to the show and I promptly looked like I had just murdered someone. Emily directed one cake at me and I somehow thought it a good idea to try and deflect the cake with one arm. Throughout the next several songs, at least there was an ample supply of strawberry sauce to snack on straight from that deflector-arm. And yes, those cakes do actually taste good. You win some, you lose some!

KidArctica was even targeted by two cakes from keyboardist Constance Day and drummer Joe Letz. It was pure carnage. It seemed like all the cakes were directed at a small group of people in front row, which included the RammWiki Blog crew. Golden Shower came after Allesfresser. While it was difficult to focus on the song while trying to get the worst of the cake off jackets, scarves, and faces, it nevertheless provided a great auditory and a… unique visual experience.

Praise Abort added to the already present neck-stiffness, because, well, heads must bang. Platz Eins proved to be another highlight of the evening. While it wasn’t possible to really see Till being carried through the crowd from the front row, Joe, Emily, Jes and bassist Danny Lohner were more than entertaining enough on stage. Wearing some fashionable blinking accessories, they kept the insane groove of the song going. Especially Danny stood out here due to his fantastic bass solo up on the ego riser. Bass solos are few and far between, so it is lovely to see the bassist get the spotlight for a while, especially when it’s such a damn groovy beat. That bass solo really elevates the song from the album version.

Since cake and water aren’t enough, Fish on brings… well, fish. Thankfully, the fish quite literally flew over our heads so that we didn’t have to get a taste of the infamous scent too closely. Fish-throwing aside, the song was great fun and Jes and Constance should consider side-hustles as professional fish-cannon-loaders. The song Gummi is not really a favourite amongst the blog crew, but the band’s energy during the song was just contagious. Steh auf had that same energy, however with the added benefit a (subjectively) better song – energy really is the defining word here. The whole arena was shouting along!

Steh auf marked the end of the main set – and to everyone’s joy, the band came forward like in Riga before to thank the audience in unity, shoulder on shoulder. Yes, this band really works. The encore provided a great end to the show. Knebel stood out again with Jes center stage on the acoustic guitar and her smashing that poor thing to smithereens a while later. Ich hasse Kinder proved to be one of the most hard-going songs on the set, and it is probably the main contributor to a lot of sore throats after the concert. The show ended quite fittingly with Till’s now tried and true lyric change in Skills and Pills: “and I say goodbye”. Although the goodbye felt almost too soon, the thunderous applause and cheering when the band made their final stand at the back of the stage confirmed one thing: Till Lindemann and his band had absolutely rocked Tallinn that night. Truly a night that won’t be easily forgotten – partly also because the strawberry sauce still hasn’t fully washed out of my white top.